What is even going on right now?

Right now I want to complain about the horribleness one has to endure when moving to a new state while simultaneously acquring a new last name. Should I refrain? Yes. Will I? Heck no. I'm overly worn out!!!

The rehearsal, ceremony, reception, honeymoon was all seriously picture perfect. And maybe once all the moving boxes are unpacked and put away I'll find the camera to upload cute little married pictures and gush all about it. But here's the deal--real life is not the ceremony or the honeymoon. Real life is really kicking my booty right now.

Once we got back from the honeymoon, we started the next morning loading the U-Haul and traveling to Midland. Since then it has been non-stop (except last Friday when my husband said we had to take a night off because the stress level was way too high) unpacking, washing, putting things away. I found time to cook a corn dish on Saturday, but I didn't even get to make my baked beans for dinner Sunday night because Bequette got into rat poison while we were gone to the grocery store.

What the heck, Bequette?

So after making both dogs vomit (btw, they are finally getting along), we realized Jett had not eaten any poison since he just threw up peroxide. Bequette had because he threw up peroxide and rat poison. So off to the ER vet we were. Darn you stinkin' ER places for costing so dang much.

By the time we got Bequette home it was time to go to the in-laws for supper. I was so embarrassed carrying in my 2 cans of baked beans after saying I was going to cook my firehouse baked bean recipe. Luckily, they understood. But seriously, Avery, how ridiculous do you look carrying in cans of baked beans? ha.

Last week I stood in line at the DPS to get my driver's license. I had our marriage license, my new social, my birth certificate, my AR dl, my TX license plates, my TX car insurance, my TX inspection. Not enough. "Come back when you have your insurance policy, not your insurance card." Dang.

I finally got my new hire paperwork filled out and submitted. My start date is Aug 20--thank goodness for some time off. I have to have  my background check before I start, so I signed up to get fingerprinted at the local jail. I call to schedule an appointment. "You can come by any time. We are always here." I call again because I'm lost in this new town and tell them I'm new here and lost. They said, "Oh, well, we are on the corner of Main and Industrial." Great. Thanks. Now where the heck is Main? And where is Industrial??? Thankfully, Cash got me there. Online it said they only take checks.

I get there, finally, and they say to come back in an hour. They can't process me right then. And they don't take checks. Only cash. Crud.

Go back to the insurace company. They can't print our policy because my name won't be added for a week. Ugh. They print out 3 other documents. Together State Farm and I are going to stick it to the man.

Stand in line at the DPS. Again. I had all the paperwork I needed this time! I even had all the right paperwork last time come to find out. I stand in the next line. She won't let me fix my hair for my picture--c'mon. Then she handed me a piece of paper with my no-fixed hair picture, and she says thanks. I asked for my DL, but apparently in TX they are mailed to you. I couldn't help it. I said, "In Arkansas, they can print them out for you right then." And I walked off.

As I do I hear a worker tell her the family wanting IDs does not have social security cards. In return she says they do not need SS cards to get a driver's license or gov't issued ID. Excuse me? I had to jump through hoops, but you don't have to have a social security card? UGH!!!

Go to the ATM. Get fast cash 20 bucks plus my $5 fee for using a different bank's atm, because Bank of the Ozarks is not in Midland, Texas. Back to the jail. Get out, walk past the inmate lingering around outside, stand at the window for 5 minutes looking at the guy working. He finally asks what he can help me with. When I say I need fingerprinted, he said, "We don't take 20s. Do you have a 10?"

"No. I went to the ATM to get this. This is what I have."

"We only take 10s."

"Do you have change? I only have a 20."

"No, we only take 10s."

I proceed to glare, roll my eyes, and walk out. Then I marched up to my husband's office to tell him my sob story, and he says one of our wedding gifts is being taxed. C'mon!

So while it may be a lot sweeter for me to write love notes about how being married is awesome...okay, it is awesome. I'm just saying this whole moving to a new state business is hard! Thank goodness for Santa Fe this weekend and the adult snow cone stand down the road. I'm going to order five.

By the way, I love being married. I do love being with my husband everyday and being in Midland. I just have a few bones to pick with the government agencies in this country. That and a lot of boxes left to unpack.

Avery

Remember that time I had a bachelorette party?

I was walking through Wal-Mart today, and I suddenly realized I had never blogged about my bachelorette party. I know. Y'all are just dying to hear all the dirty deets. It got {nasty}. That's what happened.
My best friend from college, Katie and/or Jimmie as she goes by now, drove over 2 hours to spend the evening with me. It's been 4 years since we've graduated and lived in the same town, but we've stayed close and try to get together once or twice a year just to take our hearts back to the good ol' days.

K8 and me

Maybe back in the day I was more spirited than I am say today... :/ ...but my friends were so awesome to have a relaxed, no frills evening with me at the ballpark. We went to eat bbq at Penguin Ed's in Fayetteville (yep, the place with the little red phones) then headed out to Arvest Ballpark to watch the NWA Naturals!



Whit, Nat, Brooke, K8, me, Sis

One of them asked me if I was racist against people who aren't brunettes. Judging by this picture, I'd say I am! And the blue was NOT intentional, but it was pretty funny that we all matched my ring. I do have beautiful friends. I know most of you that read my blog don't know my friends, so here's how I met them and a little bit more things you never needed to know:

• Whitney: aka Boo. We have known each other our entire lives and played basketball together all through junior high and high school. She's also the best artist you will ever find. Look her up on facebook and "like" her page--From A Saucer.

• Natalie Jo: my sweet, angelic BF from high school. You couldn't meet two girls more different (one girly and one country), but our worlds somehow collided (maybe bc we had 99 ppl in our graduating class). It was in the agri room that she pierced my ears with our chemistry teacher's sewing needle. It was at the FFA National Convention that she taught me how to put on eyeliner. And it was on Upper Jethro Road that she taught me how to drive her manual shift mustang "Sally" like Daisy Duke. Live in NWA? Go to Tramp's Salon, ask for Natalie, and get your hair done by the coolest girl you'll ever meet.

• Brooke: another lifelong friend that we played basketball with in JH and HS. Then we went to college together at good ol' Central Arkansas...go Bears. Now that she and her husband (and sweet little baby) live back in our hometown, I'm moving away. :( But she loves shopping, and she loves Texas..so I know we'll be meeting in Dallas!

• Katie: like I said...or Jimmie Kay. BFFFFFFF from college, both education majors, both pretty hysterical, both have low tolerance for teaching, shall I go on? Katie was there to teach me how to bartend when we got thrown into that scenario at a friend's wedding in Dallas. We are still unsure how that happened, but she taught me at 22 years old how to open a bottle of beer. She was also there to encourage my lie that I was Amish while we were in Destin, our college trip we gave to ourselves and happened to be the only 2 single people on the whole trip. Wow. Fun Times.

• Sis: some people call her Jennifer, but despite a childhood friend..huhhmmm TONY...telling me for 20 years to call her by first name, I still call her Sis. I blame her for encouraging me to go into education. And I blame her for all the times she said I was about to get kidnapped, the time she made me eat a wasp, the times she hit me repeatedly, you know...all the times she acted like an older sister.

At Brooke's b-lette party 2 years ago, some of her other friends had given her this crown to wear. She passed it down to me, and now I'm on the hunt for who to pass it on to next...

The ballpark was hot that night, but a night watching baseball is never a bad time.

I tried taking a picture of Strike, the mascot. When I looked the next day, I realized I caught this anxious fan in the middle of a chant. Heck yes.

Ha. You're probably thinking, "Wow, be obvious about taking pictures of the players' booties." But I honestly didn't realize I had done that until afterwards. The Naturals were actually playing North Little Rock that night, and Cash's brother used to play for them so I just took the picture to show his family. But on second thought, I'm not mad the picture was from this view.

Awww, my sweet sister yet again. She planned the whole night and made it low-key and chill and baseball-oriented, everything I could ever want in a b-lette party. In fact I was in bed by 11:30 and bragged that was my kind of party. She even took some heat from some lady commenting making fun bc she couldn't believe we would go to a Naturals game for a Bachelorette party. Fireworks flew at that point. Big sister to the rescue. So the most dramatic point of the whole party wasn't when Matthew McConaughey popped out of a cake (I was kind of holding out hope) in his white tighties; it was the day after when someone made fun of the wrong person in my sister's book. But every bachelorette party has to have some sort of dramatization, doesn't it?

I'm going to miss these friends...so thankful they all made a point to share their evening with me. Ready to see them all again in 4 days!!

Avery

15 Random Lessons

Ya know what wedding planning has taught me?

1. When people say a church will get struck by lightning, it can happen. Our organ is kapoop thanks to aforementioned lightning. My bad for marrying a Lutheran in a Baptist church?

2. RSVPs have no real meaning. Some people will never even consider sending them back. Some people, huhhmmm President and Mrs. George W. Bush, will send theirs in late. (Hey...we got one from them, and I couldn't be more excited!!) But in the end, my original calculations for amount of people and how many would order what menu item was almost dead on. I could've saved us some stamps! So note to self, no need for RSVPs even when you're hosting a dinner. Especially when you invite your cousin from Oklahoma and she asks what an RSVP means.

3. Somehow in 3 years I've crammed a million little things into a 3 bedroom house. Now to pack it all seems the most daunting task of all.

4. The grass is not always greener on the other side. In fact Midland doesn't really have any grass at all! But sometimes you can find the beauty even in the desert.

5. Oil prices may be the death of me. I probably need to delete my commodities app on my phone. It officially now gets checked more than facebook and e-mail combined.

6. My aunt MaryKaye is the single most fascinating woman I know. To her everyone is "beautiful" and "precious" and I wish I was like her in every single way.

7. Cash is fascinated with all things European: he played rugby for 7 years, he bought me a sapphire engagement ring, he has Scottish friends coming to our wedding. I'm fascinated with all things simple: I've been laying out in the creek to get a tan, I forgot to set out extra clothes when I packed my house so I'm wearing the same outfit for the 3rd day in a row, I have Amish friends coming to our wedding.

8. The only way I know how to describe our honeymoon destination is by saying, "The Bush's have a summer home there." At that point everyone thinks you're going to Kennebunkport to spy on the Bush's despite the fact it was your only way of relating the place to mentioned person. It's lose-lose, but for the record we are not going to Maine to see the Bush family. However, we wouldn't be mad if it happened.

9. It's high time I start learning traditions in Texas: what you do the night before the wedding, how to host a shower, etc. It sure is different than here.

10. Nothing ever anywhere will trump living in Jethro, Arkansas. Nine days left of it--most bittersweet feeling of my life.

11. And to the student who asked what color my wedding dress is: the answer is white. To the people reading this who are asking the same question I did (what else would it be?): the answer is camoflauge apparently, just like her aunt's.

12. To add to that. My MIL got a phone call last week from a relative in South Texas who said she had heard from someone in their town that Arkansas has very windy roads and it's hard to drive there and would they be safe. I don't even know where to go with that one...but when you hear banjos, turn around.

13. Well, don't really turn around. You'll hear plenty of banjo at our reception. Holla!! And I promise not to have squealing pigs or canoes. Mkk?

14. Literally taking over 500 bridal pictures seemed like a terrible idea. Yet I picked #518. Why didn't we just start with that pose, huh?

15. After 26 years I should realize taking 4 hour naps only leads to writing pointless blog posts at midnight. Guhhh.

Goodnight.
Avery