Back to Odessa

Update from my last post: my sister became curious what made their house safe and warm to her kids. My nephew Braeson, with his 12 years of wisdom, informed her the only thing he likes is the pool. Well, Sister, you win some and you lose some. (For the record, I think he mistakenly left out the fact he can see his Nana's house from his window. Anyone who knows Braeson knows THIS is the best thing about his house.) 

Those teenage years are going to be fun.

Speaking of teenage years, I have been thinking lately how God gives us such Grace in our fleeting memories. Being in the middle of these first few weeks and months with AL made me reflect on those times with Henry. I remember those times with Henry being much easier than they are this time around. I kept wondering what we were doing wrong with AL that we did right with Henry. Then it hit me. I simply don't remember the first few months of his life. 

Sure, I remember how cute he was. I remember him getting cradle cap and wondering if this was the start of my failure at motherhood (ha!). I remember he couldn't roll over or run away yet so changing him was a breeze. But I seriously do not remember nights before he was sleeping 6 straight hours. And that means that I don't remember nights the first 2 months of his life. I'm starting to realize I don't remember nights with AL even from last week. 

My sister-in-law told me a while back that she only remembers a blur from when her kids were this age. "Nah, not me," I thought. "I'm soaking it in." But I'm not. Apparently I'm surviving just like every other parent of babies. And that is okay! I see this as God's grace. If we remembered the hardest moments, we would only have 1 kid. Instead God allows us to remember the love and the fun, and we decide that hey...that was fun and totally doable, so let's do it again (and for some of you...again, again, again). Then we end up with these sweet families with multiple children, no sleep, and a lot of great times together. 

Then they become teenagers. Yet again God shows us Grace. While He is pruning us for patience, He is also allowing us to forget those years potty training or learning how to not run straight into the street or figuring out what goes in the trash and what doesn't (like, Mom's phone doesn't go in the trash but the diapers do). When our kids get bigger, we remember ice cream trucks and baseball games and Santa Claus. But never the time your toddler slapped you in the face when you tried to kiss him. When they are teenagers, we can't believe the aliens they have become. 

Then they become adults. And we probably remember that the teenage years weren't the best, but we also remember how fun it was to pick out prom dresses and make team meals before football games and do real, adult stuff together for the first time. So when you leave them at the dorm that very first night, you leave in a pile of tears because God has allowed us selective memory. We remember the Sundays together in church, but we forget the fights trying to get there. 

It is God's goodness, His love for us, His grace that allows us to so easily remember the good and let go of the bad. So, Braeson, right now you may think that pool is the only good thing about your house. But one day you'll remember the nerf gun wars with an unsuspecting victim, the 4wheeler rides to Nana and Bumpy's, the chopping down of trees with your machete (although I still can't understand why you have a machete?! Because you're a little cray cray). Oh, you may hate when Mom makes you do your homework at the kitchen table now, but one day all you'll remember about that table are the meals your parents made for you and the conversations that surrounded it. 

It wasn't that long ago (like January) when we were going to Odessa every week for ultrasounds. I loathed weekly appointments. It seemed never ending at the time. But we loved our doctor and genetic counselor and ultrasound tech. Today we went back to let AnnLouise meet them. When we walked in, I barely remembered what it was like to go. Every. Single. Week. No, I just remembered the best day of my life when Oscar saw her bladder had gone down and it was ultimately confirmed it wasn't fatal. 

When AL got to meet both Dr. Bruner and Oscar, it was surreal. Like this bringing together of a dream of what AL would be like and the reality of the beauty that she is. It was like the past met the present. 

Before Oscar got to Odessa, he face timed AL. We couldn't fathom leaving before he got there though.

AL meeting her biggest fan, the one who first thought her bladder had shrunk. Oscar, we love you.

She knew his voice immediately. Loved watching her meet Dr. Bruner.

We will forever be thankful for all Dr. Bruner and his team did for us and for the foresight to send us to Houston. It was a hard journey, but it would have been impossible without the perinatal center way out here in West Texas. 

So today, my favorite things are AnnLouise Scout meeting those who kept us all going those hard, trying months and walking back into the office where God's miracle was discovered. And walking in there with that miracle in my arms.

Avery Jane