Memory Lane Up in the Headlights

I have been so lazy lately to blog about anything of importance. I've done some fill in the blanks and what I'm loving at the moments and weekend trips, but I haven't spent much time concentrating on any real issues. Not like I used to.

When I started thinking about the issues I used to write about, I started reading old blogs and e-mails. So much of it is irony; so much of it God's plan being unveiled---and not one bit of it did I recognize.

On January 10 last year I wrote a blog about the phase of life I was in at the time: single, living alone, enjoying life. I talked about savoring that moment, because I had no idea how long I would have it. To say I wanted a relationship with the person God had for me is an understatement, but at the same time I was trying to live the life I dreamed about and let God bring him to me.

Within 2 weeks God had done just that.

That's crazy to me! Here I was writing all about this phase of life, enjoying the moment, and appreciating singleness--and within 2 weeks I was being torn from that phase. Nearly 10 months later I now find myself in the most intense, exciting, passionate, real relationship I've ever had. I spend all my extra time (and money) going to Texas, a place I could've given you a dime for last year. I have found a love for the desert despite being a mountain girl my entire life. But one thing that hasn't changed--I still praise the Lord for every single moment He has placed along my path. I honestly don't feel I'd appreciate the relationship Cash and I have had I not been through the circumstances God placed me in before.

Maybe one more thing is the same--I still love the Razorbacks. And Jake Bequette is still my favorite player!

I scoured through old e-mails too.

         From:  "Pullin, Cash" cash's email address
         To:  "avekuyk@.email.com
         Date:  Wed, 01 Jun 2011 19:20:56 -0600
         This message is not encrypted, and is not digitally signed.

         Miss you already.  I hope you have a wonderful time this summer and I can't wait to see you in a couple months, it really will fly by.  Please be careful over there and come home safe, love you.

       Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

That was on Wed, June 1 and I had just boarded a plane headed for the Middle East. One week and two days later I was calling him at 4:30 in the morning via Skype to tell him I had just encountered the biggest tragedy of my life. I came home within 3 days.

Isn't it crazy to look back at our lives...think about the times we thought we were alone and lost with no direction...then realize God had every single moment of it planned out?

I didn't fully realize why God had me single for so much longer than my friends. I didn't know why I wasn't getting to meet the love of my life. Not until I met him.

And I didn't, for the life of me, know why God brought him into my life right before I left for a mission trip in a war-torn territory for 2 1/2 months. That is, not until it took every ounce of his love to get me through the tragedy I faced. I don't think I could've made it through that without Cash. He was the person I thought about while enduring that trial--the reason I fought for my life. I wanted to get home to him. To love him. To hug him. For crying out loud just to live life with him.

God's divine plan is so outrageously beyond us that it's inconceivable to understand His plans. Thank Him, adore Him, and praise Him for that.